Backups if either is fullCologne — Hostel die Wohngemeinschaft in the Belgian Quarter (public garage 2 min away). Ghent — De Draecke HI Hostel, right in the historic centre with en-suite 4-bed rooms.
The route
861km continental loop plus the run to Dover and back. No tolls if we set the sat nav to avoid the short French charged sections near Calais.
Leg 1Portsmouth → Dover · ~130 mi · 3h 00m · A27/M27/M25
Leg 2Dover → Calais · ferry · 1h 30m · +1h time change
Leg 3Calais → Cologne · ~400 km · 3h 30m · via Belgium, Autobahn at the end
Leg 4Cologne → Ghent · ~280 km · 2h 30m · derestricted Autobahn sections
Leg 5Ghent → Lille · ~110 km · 1h 15m · into French Flanders
Leg 6Lille → Calais · ~110 km · 1h 15m · fuel up before the terminal
Leg 7Calais → Dover · ferry · 1h 30m · −1h time change
Leg 8Dover → Portsmouth · ~130 mi · 3h 00m · the final slog
SideRight-hand side everywhere. First roundabout is the dangerous one.
LimitsFrance 130 km/h motorway · Belgium 120 · Germany derestricted in places but 130 advisory.
FuelFrance is generally cheaper than Belgium — fill up before the ferry home.
AlcoholLimit is 0.05% in all three — lower than England. Whoever drives isn't drinking, full stop.
Low-emission zones
Cologne needs a sticker
GermanyCologne city centre is an Umweltzone — needs a green Umweltplakette windscreen sticker. Order online in advance, roughly £5–20. Fine without it.
BelgiumGhent has an LEZ — foreign plates must register the vehicle online before entering. Free for most, but do it beforehand.
FranceLille has a Crit'Air zone. Order a Crit'Air sticker online (~€4) — takes a couple of weeks to arrive, so don't leave it.
Budget splitter
Drag the sliders. Everything splits four ways automatically — no arguing at the end of the weekend.
Dover–Calais, booked in advance. Goes up sharply if we leave it late.
Portsmouth → Dover → the loop → back home.
Continental fuel is often cheaper than UK — this is a safe average.
Two nights: Cologne and Ghent. €35–45 is the going rate.
Across three days. £50–70 is the sweet spot for a proper weekend.
Parking, LEZ stickers, the emergency kebab.
Per person, all in
£0
Ferry£0
Fuel£0
Tolls£0
Hostels · 2 nights£0
Spending · 3 days£0
Buffer£0
Each£0
Whole trip, all four of us: £0 Shared kitty for ferry + fuel: £0 each up front.
How we'll settle upOne person books the ferry and fuels the car, everyone transfers their share of the kitty before we leave. Food and beers go on Splitwise as we go — settle Sunday night.
Before we go
Tick these off. Some of them take weeks to arrive, so don't sit on them.
Documents
Paperwork
The car
Kit we legally need
Bookings
Lock it in
Practical
Worth knowing
MoneyEuros everywhere. Card is fine in cities but carry €50 cash each for smaller bars.
RoamingCheck your plan — some UK networks charge in the EU again. Download offline maps as backup.
AccessGhent's centre is flat and largely pedestrianised. Cologne's old town has some cobbles. Both hostels worth a call ahead to confirm step-free routes for Connor.
WeatherLate September: 14–19°C, decent chance of rain. Jacket, not shorts.